Monday, April 16, 2012

Creating Time and Priority - The Marriage Candle

It's happening.

The week is spinning too fast. Commitments press into one another. It's impossible to tell if we're coming or going. Lonny and I are giving one another scraps.

And we're dangerously on the verge of being child-centered again.

We try. We really do. But this week it's a science fair. And Awana. And a dozen other very-good-for-the-boys things.

Our desire is to hold our priorities. God first. Marriage next. Then the kids. But we're on a wild track and the pace is steady and hard. We need to step off.

And I decide to share this revelation while the van is stacked with kids.

"Do you remember," I ask,"when Marilyn shared about the marriage candle?"

Lonny glances at me. The interstate is loaded with semis and our vehicle is loaded with noise. We haven't talked about our friend Marilyn for a decade and he obviously has no recollection of a marriage candle. But he wonders what he's in for and he looks at me like I've gone half mad.

"The marriage candle," I say. "She and her husband had one. It was on the mantle. One of them would light it when their marriage needed time."

"Okay," he says. "I can understand that. Needing some time."

 He's willing and I'm determined.

So when we get home I pull a candle from the closet. It's deep and red and heavy in my hands. I place it on the piano. Strike a match. The wick flickers. Then the candle holds a steady flame.

The marriage candle is lit.

A secret whisper.

It's time to restructure.

Time to make time for us.

Lord, help us hold our priorities when our world has gone wild. Especially when our world has gone wild. Amen.


  1. I love this idea! WIth four boys of our own, Hubby and I rarely have time for a meaningful conversation, much less to give anything else of ourselves. Thank you for your continued inspiration.

  2. Kathy, thank you. It's a struggle for Lonny and me, always. Sooo many good, good things, and we have to be intentional to carve and create time for ourselves. I so appreciate your encouragement, knowing we're not alone. Sending a prayer for sweet TIME for you and Hubby now!

  3. I love this! We hardly have time to sit and take a deep breath let alone communicate during our whirl wind days with five kids! What a beautiful, simple way to whisper a need. I'm stealing this idea!

  4. I am going to do this tomorrow, thanks for the blessing, we need time too!

  5. It is so easy to get lost in all the details of the kids' activities and needs, yet so important to put your marriage first. You are a very wise woman!

  6. Oh, Kelly, I'll bet! I understand! YES! Borrow the candle! Let me know how it works! Sending prayers for sweet connection!

  7. Dawn ~ Hoorah! I hope it works well! Let us know. I'm excited for you...

  8. Thanks, Peggy! God's grace! I'm convicted that so many of us struggle this way. What a blessing ~ to know we're not alone and to be able to encourage one another in the effort!

  9. Lovely, Shawnelle. This is what our porch parties are for. The first few minutes of every morning, my husband and I set together on the porch. Nothing special, but SO special.

    Love this post. :-)

  10. Such a great post..and a wonderful idea! Thanks for sharing!