I poured my coffee and shuffled to the school room. My worn Bible lay on Gabe’s desk. I tucked it under my arm. The morning was October-brisk, so I cocooned in a soft brown blanket and settled into our reading chair.
“God,” I began, “raising teenagers is tough. I just don’t know what to do. Lonny and I set boundaries, make decisions, pray like mad, and I still mess up. I second guess our choices. Appear wishy-washy. Lose my unified front with Lonny. Use angry words with my son. Hold a grudge. I feel inept.”
It was too early to be overwhelmed. But yesterday’s insecurities crept into today, and even the light of morn didn’t chase them off. There’d been a barrage of petitions. Where our teen could go. What he could do. And he wasn’t pleased with the decisions his dad and I made. He felt caged by the boundaries that we thought were fair, and there’d been an unsettling exchange. I’d exasperated our son.
I pulled the bookmark from my Bible and opened to Psalms. God speaks to me through the life of David. This man- after-God’s- own- heart sure had his stuff. But David’s honesty with God draws me.
My reading for the day was Psalm 25. I was hooked right away. David asked God for mercy. He’d messed up, was in a tough spot, and needed the Lord to rescue him.
Verses 4-5 are a plea: Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths, guide me in your truth and teach me. That plea resonated in my own heart. Guide me Lord, teach me. I don’t have the answers and I need you to show me your truth.
In verses 8-15 David indentified himself with the humble – someone in need of God’s grace. Then he expressed confidence in God’s covenant favors – God’s mercy and guidance and faithfulness.
Verse 9 says: He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way. Lord, I’ve made mistakes, but you are a personal God. You’ve promised to teach me your way.
I sat for awhile and thought about God’s goodness. Like David, I’d made mistakes. But thanks to Jesus, I could claim the same mercy and grace. And it was okay that I didn’t have all the answers. The Lord had taken a plea and exchanged it for a promise.
I set my cup down, walked to the window and pushed the curtains back to welcome the new day.